Nokia Promo Spam Email

by SEO Mofo on Oct 30th, 2009

in Marketing

The email in this post is not really from Nokia. It is from an anonymous spammer trying to scam people. Nokia presumably has no affiliation with this email or the bogus promotion it describes. All mentions of Nokia in this post are referring to the fake spam version, not the real company that makes phones. Additionally, all names and addresses are presumed to be fictional.

Check out this email spam I just received:

THE NOKIA MOBILE PROMO
OFFICIAL/PRIZE AWARD
DEPT-NOKIA-WEB AVENUE
STAMFORD BRIDGE LONDON,
SW1V 3DW UNITED KINGDOM.
THE NOKIA SEASON'S LOTTERY OFFICIAL PRIZE NOTIFICATION

Congratulations!!!

Your email address has just won you the sum of £546,480 000 00 Pound
Sterlings
(Five Hundred And Fourty Six Thousand Four Hundred And Eighty Pound
Sterlings) in the on going Nokia Season's Promotion UK 2009.In line with

the commemorating event marking our 14TH anniversary, We rolled out over
75,000.000.00 (Seventy Five Million Great Britain Pounds) for our 14TH
Anniversary Draws.

All participants were selected through a computer ballot system, drawn
from 25,000 company e-mail addresses and 30,000,00 individual e-mail
addresses from 45 networks in Australia,New Zealand,North America,South
America,Europe,Asia and Africa as part of our International Promotion and
prize given Program, which is conducted annually in London,UK.

To begin the verification and claims process of your prize,you are
required to

contact our Claims Department with your winning Ref No. and your personal
details, for claims.

FILL IN YOUR INFORMATIONS FOR WINNING
PROCESSING/VERIFICATION.

1.Complete Names:
2.Age:
3.Address:
4.Occupation:
5.Telephone:
6.Fax:
7.Sex:
8.Marital Status:
9.Company Name/Position:
10.Country:
11:Nationality:
12:Next Of Kin

Find Below, Your Winning Ref No.:

Find Below, Your Winning Informations:
Ref No.: BTD/968/08
Batch No: 409978E
Serial No: MSL099876

(CONTACT PROMOTION MANAGER)

***************************************
Contact Person: Dr.Bernadette Fallon
Tel:+447045700405
Email: info.orchester12@yahoo.com.hk
***************************************
This promotion is the 14TH of its kind and we intend to sensitize the public.

Best Regards.
Mr. Rawlin Collins,
Chief Executive Director (Nokia board Online Promo UK)

I mean…seriously? Are there really people out there dumb enough to fall for this shit? And ponder this…if someone actually does fall for this, what are the chances of that person having any possessions, skills, or information that would be of any value to anyone? Seriously, if you’re that fuckin’ retarded, you probably don’t have anything worth stealing or defrauding. In fact, I’m guessing the only people stupid enough to think this email is legitimate are ones that are too stupid to operate a personal computer or access an email account in the first place. This spammer’s target audience isn’t online; they’re watching cartoons in like…special, government-funded facilities or something. Spammer, your marketing skills are piss-poor, and you get an F on this assignment.

Spam Email Highlights

The contact information…

THE NOKIA MOBILE PROMO
OFFICIAL/PRIZE AWARD
DEPT-NOKIA-WEB AVENUE
STAMFORD BRIDGE LONDON,
SW1V 3DW UNITED KINGDOM.
THE NOKIA SEASON'S LOTTERY OFFICIAL PRIZE NOTIFICATION

This is probably the first 6-line address I’ve ever seen. Can I throw my life savings into a box and just mail it to this address? I can’t even tell WTF I’m looking at. Does Nokia really have a Mobile Promo Official/Prize Award Department, or perhaps the company is located on the exclusive Department Nokia Web Avenue?

The conversion rate…

Your email address has just won you the sum of £546,480 000 00 Pound
Sterlings
(Five Hundred And Fourty Six Thousand Four Hundred And Eighty Pound
Sterlings) in the on going Nokia Season's Promotion UK 2009.

Um…what did you do with my other 3 zeros?

The geography…

All participants were selected through a computer ballot system, drawn
from 25,000 company e-mail addresses and 30,000,00 individual e-mail
addresses from 45 networks in Australia,New Zealand,North America,South
America,Europe,Asia and Africa as part of our International Promotion and
prize given Program, which is conducted annually in London,UK.

Antarctica arrived late to the Continents Meeting…only to find that New Zealand had swiped his seat.

The redundancy…

Find Below, Your Winning Ref No.:

Find Below, Your Winning Informations:
Ref No.: BTD/968/08
Batch No: 409978E
Serial No: MSL099876

The first redundancy is obvious, but there’s also this to consider: If they only selected 25,000 company e-mail addresses and 30,000,00 individual e-mail addresses for this drawing, then they would need at most (assuming Mr. Spammer lost a zero) 30,025,000 unique combinations of IDs to assign. A simple 8-digit number would suffice. Why then would Nokia assign each entrant 3 different ID numbers of 6-8 alphanumeric characters each? You could assign a unique ID to every atom in the Universe with a system like that.

The wording…

This promotion is the 14TH of its kind and we intend to sensitize the public.

Best Regards.
Mr. Rawlin Collins,
Chief Executive Director (Nokia board Online Promo UK)

Mmm…the thought of Rawlin Collins sensitizing me just makes me so horny. I’m sorry to kick you out, imaginary readers, but I need some privacy. Everybody out! No no, not you, Rawlin…you stay.